Having It Both Ways

CELIBACY, SEX, SPIRITUALITY, MARRIAGE

I don’t have to be sexual if I don’t want to be. It’s up to me. I can be celibate if I want to, if I think that it would be a good thing. No one is holding a gun to my head about sex. The thing with sex is to have it with the people you are sexually attracted to. Don’t twist it into some kind of a moral or social obligation. Sexual adventure. Sexual adventurism. Getting sex where you find it. Finding sex where you get it. I’m not going to find the kind of sex I want by marrying a nice girl. I will find a dishonest, unstable relationship with a nice a girl by marrying her, and I will still want to find attractive guys to have sex with. Girls deserve guys who are sexually attracted to them. I’m not necessarily looking for a relationship with a guy by having sex with him. I’m not necessarily trying to befriend a guy by having sex with him. We don’t have to become lifelong buddies to have sex together. I don’t have to marry a guy to jerk off with him. Marriage would be an extreme investment to make for the privilege of jerking off with a sexy guy. Who came up with this idea of gay marriage? I’d like to punch him in the nose. Society wants to make sex serious, and it’s not. There’s a reason why they call it gay sex. I don’t want to make sex something more than it is. I’m not saying that it’s a little, inconsequential thing. Let’s just not attach more importance to it than it deserves, or call it something that it isn’t.

Can I be both a spiritual man and a sexual man? Can I be both spiritual and sexual? Isn’t that what I have been all these years? Isn’t that what I’ve been doing? Can I enjoy the spiritual blessings of Christianity and the pleasure of gay sex? I won’t even go so far as to address gay marriage. That’s more of a political issue than anything else, and I become more averse to politics as time goes on. I’m more interested in having good sex with a hot guy than I am in getting married to him. That’s always been true for me. I have led a double life that is not conducive to the contemplation of gay marriage as a realistic possibility. Gay marriage hasn’t been on my radar. I’m too busy trying to survive and prosper as a homosexual man with delusions of spiritual grandeur.

What right do I have to approach the throne of God? Maybe I have as much right as any other man. Maybe. What right do I have to pray and read the Bible? What right do I have to be and do good to others? What right do I have to rely on God for healing? Am I good enough to worship God? Am I good enough to lead a spiritual life? Do I lead a spiritual life? Can I lead a spiritual life as a homosexual man? Can I rejoice spiritually and enjoy gay sex? That’s what I’d like to do.

Photo: F. Jimenez Meca ©2003 - 2015 Shutterstock. Retrieved July 28, 2015, from http://www.shutterstock.com/pic.mhtml?irgwc=1&id=123837982&tpl=10078-42119