SECRET, SEX, HOMOSEXUALITY, CRUISING
The kind of sex I like is like belonging to a secret society. Homosexuals find ways to identify each other, connect, and have sex. Lots of guys want to do it, but no one wants to admit it, or pursue relationships based on it. Guys want to do it, but they also want to sweep it under the rug. It’s not the kind of thing that comes up in polite conversation. I never thought of myself this way, but maybe I’m just a big pervert after all. I always thought I was more than that, better than that. But, it turns out that I’ve just been a big perv all along. Pity the fool! I am a big perv, and a religious man following a spiritual path. How does that work? I’m not sure, but I’ve been doing it for a long time.
One of the most powerful things that ever happened to me was to learn about sex. Pure and simple. That might be true for most people, a lot of people, some people? It seems like sex is an important part of most people’s lives, why not mine? Am I special? I have been tempted at times to believe that I am, for a number of reasons. But, here I am still schlepping through life, a mediocre mortal just doing the best I can. Still trying to figure things out. Still trying to make the best of things. Trying to enjoy my life. I don’t want to save the world. I just want to enjoy it while I'm in it. It doesn't matter how special I am if no one notices, and I have never been one to conduct a campaign to make people notice me. I like the idea of leaving people alone, and being left alone. If I have to make you, I don't want it.
I still like sex. It isn’t pretty any way you look at it, but it can be especially gruesome with age and unfit physiques. I am not body beautiful, but there are still guys and girls out there who want to have sex with me. I don’t know why. They probably don’t know why. Sex isn't intellectual. It just happens. I know it when I see it. I don’t have to figure it out to enjoy it. I don’t have to figure it out at all.
Photo: The Meat Rack on Fire Island. ©2015 David Shankbone. Retrieved August 15, 2015, from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cruising_for_sex#/media/File:A_man_racking_himself_in_The_Meatrack_on_Fire_Island.jpg.
