City of God

CITY, VIOLENCE, CITIZEN, SALVATION

The City of God is the New Jerusalem coming down from God out of heaven.

The spiritual reality is the scientific fact in all things. Prepare for the reign of Spirit, the kingdom of heaven,—the reign and rule of universal harmony. Understand that sickness is not real and that Truth can destroy its seeming reality, . . . for this understanding is the universal and perfect remedy. The realm of the real is Spirit. (Eddy, 1906)

Thou shalt call thy walls Salvation, and thy gates Praise (Isaiah 60).  Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world (Matthew 25). Glorious things are spoken of thee, O city of God (Psalms 87). Abraham looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God (Hebrews 11).

To write freely and regularly is a blessing. Here I speak the truth and eschew foolishness and brutality. Here I say what is on my mind without fear. Here I cast my bread upon the waters. Here I am myself for better or worse. I want it to be for better, but it may not always be. Hubris, hatred, and violence are the hallmarks of our culture and our world. Foolishness, indifference, and mad ambition reign in the public square. The voices of wise and gentle souls are repressed. Getting one's way has been elevated above civility and the values of a free society. Brutality and self-promotion beat the drum and devise new and devious ways to enthrall and enslave the masses. And, in the midst of partisan depravity endorsed by aggressive fake news, normal people try to live their lives with a modicum of enjoyment. It isn't easy, but we do the best we can.

Talking to the Night

PEEPING, CHATTERING, TALKING

I am like a little bird peeping and chattering in the night. People hear me, but barely take notice. My tone is not sufficiently alarming to pierce the boundary of consciousness. But, I’m out there talking to the night. It’s the urge to talk, the need for expression which supersedes the notion that anyone wants to hear me. It’s the desire to communicate which transcends the understanding of what it is that others want to hear. I don’t know what you want. I barely know what I want. But, there are things I want to say, things that need to be said, even if I’m the only one who thinks so.

Exploring Parameters

ROMANCE, SEX, PUSSY BOYS

The key to sex is to pursue guys who are likely to be attracted to you. Don't waste time wooing guys who aren't interested in homosexual sex. Don't have crushes on pussy boys. Leave the boys alone who are afraid of being with other boys. Boys who find safety and security in sex with girls don't have the sense of adventure that I want in a friend and sex partner. Girls, marriage, fatherhood, family life—that's not my way. I chose not to live that way. I thought from the start that it was dishonest for a guy like me to live like that. I wanted sex and relationships with other guys. I wanted to be honest. I wanted to explore the parameters of loving men.

Haute Cuisine

NIEDERMYER, WILLIAMSPORT, COLLEGE, FOOD

I've got a crush on Chef Niedermyer. I love a man in uniform and he's a handsome hunk. I'd like to visit Le Jeune Chef in Williamsport, Pennsylvania, to sample his pastries.

Chef Charles Niedermyer, Penn College of Technology

Photo: Retrieved July 3, 2018, from https://1qzhau6kk8450yyu2co5tiaq-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/Chef-Charles.jpg. PCToday, Pennsylvania College of Technology.

All about men.

EXCITEMENT, ENJOYMENT, MEN, LIFE

Life is odd. It isn't easy. I want it to be one thing, but it turns out to be something else. Writing is about what life is, not what I want it to be. Is that right? Isn't writing about finding out what life is and telling other people about it? My life is about my love for men. My life is about how I love men. It's about looking at men and wanting to know them and be with them. Life is about having an excuse to spend time with a handsome man. You can have all the rest. Just give me a handsome, sexy man to pass the time with, and I will be content. I'm not even asking him to love me. That's where sex comes in. That's where sex is handy and useful. Sex gives guys an excuse to spend time together. When all else fails, have sex.

Schmucks like I

SCHMUCK, TWEET, GEM, PLATFORM

The point is to say things that matter. The point is to go public with my private thoughts that matter. What's the best platform for a thinker and writer like I? Blogs are old hat, aren't they? Well, I'm kind of old hat too. Maybe the blog is where an old-hat kind of guy like I belongs. Should I be a tweeter? Would tweeting make any difference to me or anyone else? Are there people out there, waiting with bated breath for my verbal gems? Ah, I don't think so. The point is to step up and speak up. The point is to go public. Everyone else does. Why shouldn't I? My life matters! And, media provides the means and the opportunity for even schmucks like I to have our say.

Thinking about sex.

SEX, GUYS, WRITING, TALKING

I don't like the idea of just writing for myself. I don't like the idea of writing badly and putting it on display. I don't like the idea of showing the whole world what a putz I am, but it's better than doing nothing at all. I'd rather be a putz than a zero. I'm getting old. I don't have a lot of time left. I want to make the best of it. I don't want to spend the rest of my life not telling you who I am. I want to spend the rest of my life being myself. Oh, yuck! Oh, boring! Oh, stupid! Oh, well.

Blogging is already old hat, but it's a step up for me. A step out. A turning of my face toward the world. Coming out. Not hiding out. What do I have to hide? Nothing. And, do you know why? Because no one cares. No one gives a damn about anything I do. I don't want to hide. I want to make the most of things. I want to be myself. I want to make my best effort.

I'm a talker. I like to talk. I like to tell you what I'm thinking about. I like to tell you about what I did today, and what I think about it. One of the wonders of the world is how it can't tell me what to be. There may be things that the world will fight tooth and nail to prevent me from being, but it can't tell me what to be. The world will give me all kinds of reasons why I can't be or do something, but it can't tell me what to be. I don't want to be perfect in my own eyes or in the world's eyes. I'm tired of trying to be perfect. I'm tired of trying to impress people with my qualifications. Qualified for what? Who cares! No one. Me too.

I don't want to impress you with my writing. I do want to write to you. I want to tell you what's on my mind. I want to tell you what I did today. I don't really care whether I impress you or not. I just want to make the effort to tell you. In a world that's falling apart, the time to be shy about talking has passed. I want to talk to you. I don't want to be perfect for you. I want to talk to you. I want to tell you what I did today. I want to tell you about the handsome, sexy guy I saw this morning at Starbucks. I don't know his name yet, but I want to. He's married and has a daughter. He has a low voice.  He's big. He's not a skinny little guy. I've never seen him with anyone. He always comes to Starbucks on his own. I don't want to see him with his wife or daughter. I just want to see him. I just want him. I don't want to be his best friend. I don't necessarily want to be his friend at all. I'd like to masturbate with him, suck his dick, and make out with him. That's all. Not a big deal. I don't want to take a lot of his time, or waste a lot of mine. I don't have a lot of time to waste. I don't have a lot of energy to use. I want to tell you about the hunky guys I like to look at. I don't want to be a great writer. I just want to write. I don't want to be perfect. I just want to talk to you.

I want you to know that I will get up this morning looking forward to the handsome guys I will see throughout the day. Mom and I are going to the Wareham Walmart this morning. We will see handsome young men working there. We will see good-looking guys shopping there. Guys I can think about having sex with.