FAMILY, CHRISTIANITY, LOVE, ART
Writing is the thing. It’s always there and I always learn something from it. I always get pleasure and comfort from writing. I’m not always able to do it. Sometimes I’m too sick and tired to do it. But, it’s always there waiting for me to return and pick up where I left off, or dart off in some new direction, an artistic experiment. I’m a silly man. Too bad. Wasted, overlooked talent. Wasted life and love. I have not known the right way to live. I have not known how best to live. Christian Science has been a big help to me. Practical. Powerful. Spiritual. The little I have accomplished has been helped by Christian Science. Thank you. Thank you, God. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Mrs. Eddy. Thank you, Church of Christ, Scientist. Thank you, Mother Church. Thank you, Principia College. Thank you, Mr. Harper. Thank you, class instruction. Thank you, Christian Science Association. Thank you, King James Bible. Thank you, Science and Health. Thank you, Episcopal Church. Thank you, Christian confirmation. Thank you, Book of Common Prayer. Thank you, Church of Scotland. Thank you, baptism. Thank you, prayer. Thank you, loving parents. Thank you, parents who want and try to do well. Thank you, parents who do more than they have to. Thank you strong and loving sister. Thank you, Bonnie. Thank you, all friends past and present. Thank you for kindness. Thank you for affection. Thank you for companionship.
I know that love or romance is a long shot for me. It always has been. I don’t know why. I’m missing something that other people have, or I want something that other people don’t. I love children, but I’m not fond of all the mundane details attached to child-rearing and family life. It has always seemed highly overrated to me. People lose themselves in family and avoid life’s broader implications. I have never been seduced by the traditional family unit. It is functional, practical, cultural, profound, and highly successful for a lot of people. The traditional family unit works for most people. Families work. They even work for outliers like I. Even those of us who reject conventional family life and roles in adulthood, continue to love and participate in the family that raised us. We don’t adopt its model, but we don’t repudiate it either. I don’t yearn to be a father or a husband. I do yearn to be loved by someone. I yearn for a romantic, intimate relationship with another person, but I’m not enamored of the conventional family lifestyle. I don’t want to be confined or defined by social convention. I’ve got things to do, and I don’t want the obligations of family life to interfere with them. I don’t want to pretend to love someone and support a family for the sake of conforming, fitting in, and being accepted by others. I don’t want to be socially acceptable. I want to be happy.
Photo: ©2015 Diakon Lutheran Social Ministries. Retrieved June 5, 2015, from http://www.diakon.org/lib/files/userFiles/DFLS_UpperSus.jpg
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