A Walk in the Woods

IMMORALITY, SEXUALITY, HOOKING UP

I’ve spent so much of my life having sexual feelings and not acting on them. It would be nice to act on my sexual desires. It would be nice to have sex with other guys. I don’t even know how to do it anymore. I don’t know how to make sexual connections that are right for me. I’d like to go for a walk in the Audubon and have sex with a guy that I meet in the woods. I’d like to go to a secluded spot and have sex with a guy who’s walking in the woods. Greeting, connecting, having sex in a secluded spot.

I’m an immoral man. I’ve always been an immoral man because I’m a homosexual. How can one be homosexual without being considered immoral? Isn’t that the way it works? Of course, the great movement away from religious values to humanistic values says that it’s good, even normal, to be homosexual. The liberal culture of niceness says that society has to embrace and be nice to homosexuals. So, you’ve got to be nice to me. That's different from what I grew up with. In my generation, one of the worst things you could do was to identify yourself as homosexual. Even indulging in homosexual sex was not as bad as openly identifying yourself as homosexual. Gay sex was OK as long as you kept it private and did what society expected of you as a straight man—make money, date women, get married, have children. I’ve seen guys who were blatant about their homosexuality, but they got away with it because they conformed to society’s heterosexual requirements.

I was never a political homo. I never cared that much about politics. However, I did care about having sex with other guys. I wanted to have sex with guys that I liked. Which brings up a whole other kettle of fish. Just because a guy is bi or homosexual doesn’t mean that he’s going to want to have sex with me, or I with him. The sexual encounter has to do with other things than shared sexual preference. That some guy and I both like having sex with guys might be a starting point for the possibility that we might have sex together. But, there are a lot of other things that go into making the match, even for casual or anonymous sex. I’m not going to have anonymous sex with any old guy.

I’m an immoral man. I like having sex with men, and they like having sex with me. I'm looking for ways to meet guys I like for sex. There’s more to me than that, there’s more to my life than that, but my desire for sex with men is a powerful aspect of my personality.

Photo;  Virginia Department of Conservation and Recreation. SPPO0059. Retrieved May 31, 2015, from https://www.flickr.com/photos/vadcr/4598452683/in/album-72157603442926279/